Wednesday, 15 November 2017

My Last Name



Assalamualaikum.

I talked to someone recently about growth. It was a serious talk about growth in terms of career advancement and skills. Banyak yang dibincangkan kat area tu lalu buat aku terfikir what have I actually gained for the past 3 years while working at this company which I used to love for first year, and do not for the rest of the years. Hahahhaa.


You see, the main reason I want to get out of this company SO SO SO SO BAD is for my career. Karier aku sekarang entah kemana, aku pun entah kemana. Mula mula kerja dulu ye, memang dapat banyak experience. Experience yang aku katakan kat sini adalah communication skill, yang paling utama. Selling skill? Huh kelaut hahah. I haven't grasp the idea till today. Seriously I just hate selling things to people. This sales field is tricky: you gotta sell things to the right person with the right product and right after-sales treatment to retain customer loyalty. Masalahnya kan bagi aku, ko taknak, takpe aku tak paksa. But my company (any company pun sama) try to force us to sell even to those who don't need it.

Buat khianat sungguh laaa munggg hahah.

Selalunya aku mesti akan fikir sales ni memang bidang yang sesuai ke dengan personaliti aku? Ni ke yang aku boleh buat? Ni ke yang aku mampu buat? It's not like juai cekedis tau, ok bagi seringgit pastu customer chow dan makan. That is seringgit. We talk about sales yang ribu ribu ringgit, atau dalam contoh company Dell masa aku pegi interview hari tu, one sales can go up to thousands USD. USD OKAY! Ko bayangkan how much they push for sales, I cannot even bear to think about being pushed and pushed just to reach a target. I'D BE CRAZY AND DEAD BY THE FIRST MONTH.

Yeah, diakui minda tak berapa kuat.

Sebab tu rasa sales and marketing ni bukan forte aku. Habis tu ape laaa weh forte aku niiii. Aduhduhhhh pening la kepala nak mikirnye 😕


Anyway lepas beberapa tahun kerja, takde dapat apa pengalaman dah. Job scope pun dok sama ja saban tahun. He (yeah it's a male, so wise in this area) says job scope should increase year by year. Tertampor aku tau hahah. It means my career is going nowhere, not even a chance of naik pangkat jugak. End up akan stuck kat sini sampai ke tua? Oh no bro, no. God knows that's the last thing I ever want in my life.

Aku kadang komplen jugak kat colleague yang senior, dia lagi lama duk sini dari aku tapi entahlah, I think she's just comfortable to be here. Working at this company is so easy. Takde cabaran sangat pun. I used to be comfortable and like it, but not anymore. My heart nak gila gila jerit yeahhh let's quit! to everyone's face especially my 'beloved' boss. The sad reality however, is that searching for the right job is not easy: PEOPLE REJECTED ME ALOT TILL I FEEL REJECTED AND INTIMIDATED. It's either rejected on the dot after the interview, or no news at all. Aih...I seriously have a lot to do with my resume, something must be wrong with it till people aren't interested in taking me in. Or...I'm just not that up to par.

Kadang aku salahkan company luar sana sebab tak bagi peluang untuk pekerja baru. Faham yang dorang nak yang terbaik untuk company tapi nampak cam semua pun demanding. Who will give anyone a change to grow, kalau bukan company company ni sendiri? Faham tak ape aku cakap ni hahah.


From above, you can expect my heart is never at ease with my current condition. Tahu kena bersyukur sebab ada lagi yang tak kerja, atau kerja lagi susah. Contohnya orang orang tua yang masih kerja at low level di usia camtu. Tapi sebagai manusia biasa, nobody wants to stuck at the same level forever, or for many years. Jadi cam lembu la gitu, ikuttttt je ape yang jadi pun. I don't want that! Haih. Depressed la camni, pasal career je pun kan orang mesti fikir chill la weh. You can chill, I won't.

After gaining some insights and a sense of competitiveness from him (I need to be better than he is, seriously), I have set my mind to keep on searching for a new job. Regardles of the job scope, I need to job hop. Sebelum ni berhenti jalan berhenti jalan hahha pastu tak jalan jalan. Sampaikan mak aku pun marah sebab dia tahu je betapa terseksanya jiwa aku kerja kat sini tapi malas apply kerja hahahha bukan malas maaaa tapi KURANG masa. Kuikui. Ok ok lepas ni banyak masa okeiii.

La ni aku otw belajar SEO semula. Dulu dah belajar sendiri sikit sikit sebab company suruh, sekarang dorang tak suruh dah haha sebab company aku pun malas jugak. So takpe, aku nak belajar untuk diri sendiri. Aku nak kad nama aku ada 'SEO EXPERT' in few years time. Fuh. Perfect. Kalau kena bayar ratus ratus untuk satu exam SEO pun aku dah buka hati untuk sanggupkan diri membayar fee tu. Whatever it takes for success.


Yes. My progress might be slow, but giving up is no longer my last name.



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